So I’ve been ruining my kids lives by saying “weird flex but ok” to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell me they’re running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it
Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst “to flex on” live memes ever to pretend I’m an even more really lame parent. they don’t have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn’t obvious I’m intentionally trying to be more lame
Here’s the ones I came up with so far
“You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease?”
“You ever just boil chilies to flex on your eyes?”
“You ever just be cool to flex on your kids?”
“You ever just use sanitizer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?”
“You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad?”
Catholic edition:
“You ever just like receive the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan?”
“You ever just like love your Mom to flex on Protestants?”
So I executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn’t say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he’s walking down the street
Hi there, sorry this is so late–busyness in my life didn’t permit me to do much on my dying computer. Anyway, here we go! Most of the rules from last year are still the same, so this post will be copy and pasted from last year’s exchange! I hope you don’t mind (;´д｀)
Because this sign-up application is so late, the deadline will be much longer so more on that in a bit.
This is largely for those who are in the Kagome xover fandom, both current and inactive fans! Even if you’re not a fan of Kagome xover, you’re still welcome to participate too. (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ What is not welcome is hatred and trolling in any shape and form to one or the other.
Now, here we go!
There will be a sign-up application process, starting today (December 10th) through December 17th. Hopefully that will give everyone enough time to sign up and for this post to spread!
Also, we’re inviting anyone from outside Tumblr to come and join! If you have any friend who are interested, send them my way~
If you want to join, please shoot me a message! I’ll add you on the list! As it is secret santa you will be expected to both get and give a gift.
If you’ve signed up, please do link us a public post of what pairings you would like for a gift (More details for this example below) so we can put up a post ourselves linking back to everyone’s (without spoiling whose secret santa or whatnot). But, please do be flexible!
Please give your secret santa a decent list to choose from too!
After the sign-up, I will assign who gets who (via number randomizer). This will be in progress until December 20th.
Once you get your secret santa you can then get started working on your gift!
You have until January 31st to finish. (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) I would be happy to extend the deadline though, if asked. Still, hopefully that will be enough time to finish your secret santa! I don’t know if you can still call it secret santa, but hey it’s still a gift exchanging
Now with the dates out of the way, here’s some basic rules/guidelines.
Please be kind to everyone. Trolling and hatred are not appreciated.
Please leave your submit box open–or at least open them during the deadline week. I will make a reminder post when it’s due.
Try to make your list at least 5 Kagome crossover pairings (for flexibility). You can rank them, and add on what sort of relationship you would like to see from these pairings ranging from familial, friendship, romantic, to even n-sfw.
If you wish to do/ask for n-sfw, you can, but please do keep your secret santa’s comfort in mind, as well as yours. So, make it obvious if you are okay with n-sfw or not in your list!
I’ll leave in my example here as a general guideline for you to follow. Hope it’ll helps!
Please make it clear that you are or are not okay with fanworks (including fanart AND writing) of your fanfictions, if any! Also mention if you’re okay with them being n-sfw too.
If for whatever reason you cannot submit your gift to your secret santa, you can submit to me and I will post for you and tag your secret santa.
It is up to you if you wish to keep your anonymity, but we do suggest that you wait at least a day or two before you reveal yourself. You can try signing out from tumblr or try another browser to submit to preserve your identity?
You may either draw or write, in whatever form! Do try to put in some effort though.
If you ever get stuck (and trust us, we know how painful writing/drawing blocks can be), we are happy to help you and provide suggestions!
Once you received your gift, please use the tag: #kagx secret santa so we all can see it!
If the receiver did not get their gift on the deadline (or shortly after) and we are not notified of the gifter’s absence, please let us know and we will reassign another willing, available secret santa (if it comes to that). You might have to be a little more patient for your gift though.
You’re welcome to make more than one gift, and not necessarily just to your secret santa but also to your favorite writer/artist/fan/person too! It’s all about showing appreciations. ❤
I think that’s about to cover everything? If there is any question, suggestion, or problem, please feel free to contact me.
Sheltered under the the wide branches of the tree she leaned against, eyes remained lost in the down pour fogging the view of the cherry blossoms ready to sprout. Not even the peace of the upcoming spring could ease her knowing of her mistake.
Or more so, the mistake of her existence. For now her solitude and away from her feudal friends is what she needed, and from the others.
Sighing under her breath, Kagome rested the back of her head against the tree. Inuyasha was probably aware she had sneaked out of the camp at this dark hour, but he knew better now to come and get her. Especially when her emotions were all over the place. She had a feeling the others that had joined them were also aware she had left. It would not take long enough for at least one of them to come and get her in fear she would run away.
She scoffed at the idea. Her? Run?
“You should head back to the camp site, Kagome-sama.”
Speak of the devil. Kagome’s brows furrowed as she kept her eyes closed. “‘Sama’?” She repeated. Straightening out her head, she turned to face the long brunette haired male with icy hues wearing what she recognized to be a Shinsengumi robe now drenched by the rain. His hand to the hilt of his sword near his hip, Kagome took another second to read his aura.
Calm.
“Were you told to come and get me…,” her eyes narrowed in thought.
“Izuminokami.”
Ah, that’s right. She nodded, remembering that remembering their complicated names was going to be a challenge. Especially when their names were the names of historical Japanese swords. And that was what irked her, the men who had joined her friends during their search for the shards were Izuminokami’s unit. They were all swords who Izuminokami had explained to have been brought to life by Saniwa.
Kagome shook her head at the thought of them being swords. The worst part was their mission was to eliminate anything that was in the way of history or in this case, anything that would cause a change.
In her current case, Izuminokami claimed they were after her.
“You will catch a cold.” Izuminokami spoke. “It is best you head back, Kagome-sama.”
“Why would you guys care how my health turns out?” She scoffed as she directed her focus on the rain. “Aren’t you and your unit here to eliminate me?”
Izuminokami remained silent. There was not much to say. They had come with orders to eliminate the girl who would be the cause of a major historical change, but his unit, upon meeting her, could not do it. It brought a heated debate, especially with Mutsunokami who could not believe the girl from the future could cause harm when she was trying her hardest to fix the wrongs she did.
The order they had been given was now delayed due to his brewing doubts he held. The priestess had proved herself to be a strong being that would cause a waste to the world.
“The others are worried for you.” Izuminokami replied.
“What about you?” Kagome questioned, taking another look at his drenched hair. She cracked a small smile, “swords also can get sick, right?”
Shrugging, Izuminokami took a few steps towards the tree to take in the shade. “Perhaps. Never really dealt with sickness since I was taken in by Saniwa.”
Kagome nodded, focus now drifting forward. “Saniwa, huh…?” Letting the rain fill in the silence, Kagome noticed the lake ahead rippling nonstop. “Do you think…if I returned back to my era now…history would be untouched?”
His eyes remained glued on her guilt.
“Am I causing harm?” She scoffed at herself, “and here I thought taking responsibility for my own mistakes would be helping. I gave it some thought, and my own stubbornness wanted to convince me that you guys were wrong, but…,” she slowly turned her guilty smile towards Izuminokami, “perhaps I really don’t belong here.”
Izuminokami exhaled as he turned his head to face the lake. Her distance from the group now made sense. Perfect sense. Slowly slipping out his Shinsengumi robe, he placed it over the girl’s shoulders.
Kagome blinked as her fingers touched the baby blue silk before looking up at the brunette.
“You’re going to catch a cold, Kagome-sama; it’s best you get some proper warmth.”
She blinked again, “this…is wet already.”
Cheeks heating, Izuminokami turned his back to the girl. “I-I know that! I am trying to help, okay? I’m not good with consoling people.”
Her eyes lowered to the silk once more; Izuminokami sneaked a peek of the girl from his shoulder. Her had come to a conclusion. Not an easy one, but one he knew would put his unit in jeopardy. It wouldn’t be long before the other units arrived to “fix” the issue.
For now, Izuminokami had decided to keep an eye on her. If anything would go out of course in history, he would kill her that second, but for now, he wanted nothing more than to see her blossom and hopefully Saniwa find a way to save her.
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly – again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.
I FUCKING LOVE DOUGLAS ADAMS, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING
I can’t believe you guys are forgetting:
“He was experiencing the aural equivalent of looking at a picture of two black silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a picture of a white candlestick.”
My personal favorite Douglas Adams quote is not from a book at all, but about writing itself.
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
#relatable
“Drinking a pan galactic gargleblaster was like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.”
Backup 